Figuring out how to choose a sponsor can be overwhelming but it’s a vital component of sobriety. A sponsor is someone that helps to guide you through recovery. Full of experience and wisdom, a sponsor has faced many challenges in sobriety. Through their experience, you can learn to conquer problems in life, recovery, and relationships. Sponsors are more than just a guide they’re often times a great friend. In addition to showing you how to stay sober, a sponsor is an invaluable outlet for support. Through difficult times or urges to relapse, you can always rely on your sponsor to listen.
How to Choose a Sponsor
Choosing the right sponsor is important and it can be difficult to know where to start. There is an old saying “You want what they’ve got”; this is a great place to start. This old saying refers to traits you would want to emulate. Traits such as: happiness, honesty, confidence, assertiveness, kindness, helpfulness, and overall a peaceful and calm demeanor. Look for a sponsor you can relate with and learn from and rely on.
It can be a frightening and daunting task to find a sponsor. Just know it’s not as difficult as it seems. Here are a few suggestions when choosing a sponsor:
Sponsor’s Experience and Guidance
Find someone whose philosophy includes taking you through a recovery program (12 Step Recovery, SMART Recovery) by using their own and their sponsor’s experiences.
Find someone who will always support you in times of need. When urges to relapse occur you need someone who is available day and night. Always seek out your sponsor in times of emergency.
A True Friend
Find a sponsor that you consider to be a great friend. A sponsor should not be misconstrued as a parent or authoritative figure. This is someone only giving back the help they once received.
Honesty is Important
Find a sponsor that can always be honest with you even when the truth hurts. Your sponsor’s honesty will extend to you to eventually. Being able to look at your life honestly is a valuable asset.
A Good Role Model
Choose a sponsor that is someone you want to emulate; a good role model. Select someone with qualities you admire.
Your sponsor should have more sobriety time than you; preferably a year. This is a simple and important suggestion that should not be ignored.
Secure and Stable in Sobriety
Look for a sponsor that is secure, stable, and active in his or her own sobriety. Active work with their sponsor, attending meetings and helping others is what you should look for.
Friendship Not Relationship
Your sponsor should never be of the opposite sex. Intimate relationships forged through sponsorship are inappropriate and can be troublesome. This is important and should not be ignored.
Make sure your sponsor has enough time for you. If you choose as sponsor that has many sponsees (people they sponsor), he may not be available when you need him the most.
How to Choose a Sponsor with Morningside Recovery
Overall, trust your instincts when choosing a sponsor. Intuition is powerful and your “gut feeling” may serve you well. Don’t over analyze! If you meet someone at a meeting that satisfies the initial criteria, has been sober for a while and most of all they have want you want; then go for it. Be swift in your choosing and don’t wait too long. Sponsors are vital and they help to create lasting connections in sobriety and life in general.
Morningside Recovery is a leader in the fields of mental health treatment and addiction treatment. If you or a loved one are struggling with heroin addiction and need help, please don’t hesitate to call. You may reach us at 855-631-2135. Our helpline is open 24/7 and our treatment specialists will assist you in finding the right treatment option for you.